There are a lot of dramas going on recently in my life. Some are trivial but some are pretty disrespectful. Some of these dramas are directly related to me and some are just troubles that my friends have. Either way, being a good friend, their troubles are basically my trouble. I am sick of all these dramas and immature actions that some people do. I don’t know if they are intentional and i hope they are not, but some of my friends convince me that they are indeed trying to show me or “the world” something. This is what I don’t understand. If that is really the case, do not even play mind games or silly games with me. I don’t want to play. I have no intention on participating in such silly and dumb actions. If there is something one wants to say to the world, don’t pussy out and instead, say it directly to me or my firends’ face, or else you’re not only disrespecting me or my firends, you’re also disrespecting and trashing yourself. 

pZout

Long time no blog. Feels like I need to decorate this today.

Something about the night captures my attention. Something about it enchants me. I don’t know what it is, but nighttime is when I can truly focus and concentrate on whatever I am doing. I have a midterm tomorrow, I was planning to sleep right now, but the vast veil of darkness is remarkably captivating. Yet, gazing into the dark sky brings back moments: different kinds of moments, good and bad, fun and boring, ups and downs. There is no way I am going to forget; the world simply does not allow me to do so. Flashbacks of my past always appear in the middle of the dark sky while slideshows of my future look foggy. I do not know what I am doing. I am living life as each day goes by, aimlessly attempting to map a route for myself, but to no avail yet. One thing is certain: as strong as anyone may appear in front of the world, there is a weak side to him. 

Back to practice midterm.

Rzpkt

I am a very emotional person. I can be very happy one second and very sad the next moment. My best friend pointed out to me in a very friendly way today that maybe sometimes I expect too much out of others. When I reflect upon what he said, flashbacks of my life came to mind and I have to agree with him. Indeed, too many times in my life, I realize that my mind unconsciously set standards for each person I meet in life and I tend to judge him/her by whether or not he/she fits the standards. Most often times, others disappoint me/make me sad not because they did anything wrong but it is because they did not meet the standards that my mind set for them. I hope I am not very condescending just now because I really don’t mean to be. All I am trying to do is speak my mind and tell it truthfully. 

This subconscious act of my mind, I think, is not something that I can control due to my personality. I know I may not seem/act/look like it but I am an overachiever most of the time. Even though I seek the laziest and fastest way to do things, I try to do them flawlessly. I think it is this mind of my own, one that constantly chase after perfection, that unintentionally and unjustly expects too much out of others. Every one has his/her own unique personality and I despise my mind for unfairly judging others. Therefore, I will try blocking out this part of my mind even though it is hard to control. I know that by focusing on what others have done instead of what they are “supposed” to do, it will hopefully make me a better and happier person. 

Thank you my friends.

RezpecKt

dayum. dayum. This young rising soul just might have commited the worse offense possible. Being a fan of his, I hope everything will be okay and the allegations ain’t true. But yeah, kids out there, don’t do stupid things. lol.

RezpecKt

*P.S. For those of you who don’t know, he is accused of assaulting a woman, possibly rihanna his gf/ex.

shoutout to you. you know who you are.

雨 浠浠沥沥
飞舞着思绪 淋湿记忆

i love this quote. It’s in your profile haha

rezpeckt

Cherish the times you spend with your family and friends.

peace.

So George and I were talking about the word “elusive.” I decide to ponder upon that one word.

People always think they have it, but they don’t. For example, when you go fishing, you thought the fish got caught by the hook, but when u reel in the line, only the hook is there. 

People always think they have it, but they don’t. For instance, you may have thrown a pokeball at a snorlax before and thought that u have captured it. However, the pokeball shook twice and snorlax jumped back out.

People always think they have it, but they don’t. Elusive objects, as the name suggests, evade grasp and pursuit. You can think of these things as viruses, some of which can change their proteins constantly so that the immune system cannot eradicate them. 

Of course, when you do obtain the elusive object, you are very happy. However, it is named elusive for a reason: it will escape one day!

There are a lot of things in my mind today. My brain is inundated with random thoughts, confusion, anger, happiness, basically everything you can think of. I hope this blog can act as a tunnel by which I can vent out all these feelings.

I have been contemplating about my life these days and I am trying to evaluate where I stand in this long and seemingly neverending journey. Life is an intricate matter. It is very windy and it is a black hole of obstacles. There are lots of ways to get out of this maze, but only one way would ever be attempted. The choices that we make directly affects the outcome, the end. We will never know whether our decisions are the right ways to go because there is no way of us to try out other ways and relive our lives. Life plays lots of tricks with us. It can be harsh to some. When you think that your journey is smooth and unhindered, it throws a curve ball at you. Curve balls can be good if you hit a home run. On the other hand, they can also be bad if you take this as a third strike out. Granted we are humans, we all have flaws and our journeys will never be utterly smooth. I guess we all just have to deal with life and never give up. I think my life has been pretty smooth for a long time until college, where I really encounter different kind of people and mixed feelings every day. Most importantly, I am really thinking about my future and what I am going to accomplish as a member of the universe. Sometimes I feel completely lost, but I am glad that I have y’all good friends who encourage me to do better and succeed.  Well enough about life because the more I talk about it, the more confused I get.

The second thing that is bothering my mind is the word arrogant. What does this word mean? So I looked it up on the dictionary and it says  ”A. adj. Making or implying unwarrantable claims to dignity, authority, or knowledge; aggressively conceited or haughty, presumptuous, overbearing. (Used of men, their actions, manner, etc.)” (Oxford English Dictionary) I thought “unwarrantable” means “uncalled for,” but I really wasn’t sure on its exact definition, so again I consulted the dictionary and it says “adj.   Having no justification; groundless.” I have heard people calling me “cocky and arrogant” and I am of course a little bit offended because that is human nature. If I ask you to name a person in this world who admits that he/she is cocky, I bet you can’t do it. I don’t like it when people call me arrogant because I don’t think I am “arrogant.” (See definition above) Everyone has flaws; I definitely have a lot of flaws, but I can assure any of you that I am not arrogant nor am I blind to myself being arrogant. I know what arrogant means, and I think if you think that I am arrogant, then you better read the definition again because you are not getting the gist of it. Ask me if I am good at basketball? I will say I am okay. Ask me if I am good at math? I will say I am okay. Ask me if I am good at puzzles? I will say No. I have never said that I am good at anything except driving, which I admit I am being cocky when I say I am good at driving. Also, I do not try to act like I am superior to anyone. In fact, when I meet new people, I always lower my status and respect other people. (After all, my aka IS respecKt) Other than that, I do not act in any ways arrogant according to the Oxford English Dictionary. I am not offended when people accuse me of flaws. In fact, I admire your courage and honesty to point out my flaws. I gladly listen to anyone who kindly offers me reasonable advice that I can act upon. I constantly want to become a better person because I know I will never be perfect and I need to work on a lot of stuff. But I AM offended when people accuse me of some fault blindly, without reasonable justification. I know who reads this blog and I know all of you give me good advice on improving my personality and decisions in general. However, I know that some of the people who don’t read my blog talk a lot of shit and I think they should open their eyes and see for themselves what reality is presenting. One of my good friends once told me, “If you hate someone, it is because you don’t know him/her enough.” I think this is a very true statement. I have a hard time understanding it and acting upon it, but I do agree with it 100%. There are definitely different sides of people and you just need to take time understanding them. So for you haters out there, here is a quote you should look at and think about. 

Peace

Love

Unity

RespecKt

Enough said… for now.

i

i don’t

i don’t know

i don’t know anymore

i don’t know anymore.

OH I KNOW…

but i don’t ha

happy chinese new year everyone

Happy Birthday Nicole! Today(well technically yesterday cuz i’m late at posting)  is/was Nicole’s birthday. Nicole, Allison, Libing and I went to SF to celebrate in the afternoon. We ate at In-N-Out and had the secret recipe animal style fries (isnt it cool theres an in n out in nor cal) ballin dawg~~~ Afterwards, we went shopping in Union Square. I didn’t feel like buying anything so i just looked around. I bought too much during christmas break. heh. I had some pretty delicious thai food for dinner and we didn’t go back to the dorm until 8pm. At around 10, we surprised Nicole with a birthday cake with sparkling candles on it. Those sparkling candles are kind of like trick candles. It took her HELLA days to blow them out.

Well,  everyone is workign so hard these days. I think imma do the same and bounce now. lets hope i dont fall asleep. still have two math hw, havent even started. peace.

Random: I’ve been sweating a lot when i sleep. i dunno why lol. whenever i wake up, my bed is soaked. (p.s. trust me, its my sweat, i didnt pee or come)